Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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