I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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