this beer tastes like vomit already
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
