playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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