a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
where am i from again
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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