okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
