i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I skipped work to stalk him.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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