she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
