Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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