honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
