I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My boob is missing a layer of skin
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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