yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
