well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Too much gin, very little bucket
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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