All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
