She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
