what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
