The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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