i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Randomize
