he wants to bone in the snuggie
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
