It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
wanna go halves on a baby?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
