Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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