I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
How does it feel to date your dad?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
