that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
