She's JV to your varsity
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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