Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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