Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I want to have your abortion
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
