i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
