yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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