I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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