i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can you repeat that, but with context?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
