You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
