Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
