You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
