You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
