You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
