so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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