Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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