I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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