from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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