Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
