Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
porn star boner night. come get it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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