so that wasnt chicken after all
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
