You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
