I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
