It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
