i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
