somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
