this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
