we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
