I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
