I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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