How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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