Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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