I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
