Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
